. five .

i've been smiling the past couple weeks.  not out of joy but just because, it's the first time in months that i've heard one of my favorite songs on the radio and broke  a smile at the cute lyrics.  it all boils down to a pocket watch.  i guess we all require a little bit of closure in some sense and this was mine.  i've been wondering lately about those butterflies in your stomache and have come to the bitter conclusion that i'm just too old for such pleasures these days.  i guess this was my last shot at young love and it's now time for me to bite the bullet and grow up a little bit.  this is something that i've been avoiding for years, i was stuck in a vortex of naivete, trying to hold onto the last part of my teenage years, but now that it has left i have no options left but to move on, maybe this is something good.  but i'm content in my life as of now.  i have found out that some people i thought were mere casual aquaintances were prepared to be there for me at the drop of a hat, and that is a wonderful feeling, it's nice to know someone cares that much, who before a few months ago barely even knew you.  my eyes have been looking up lately and i'm realizing how nice it is to have someone to cuddle with, even if it's just a friend.  my memories have faded a little bit, but maybe that is for the best, i'll always remember the good times and forget the sad and in the end maybe you were the best i'd ever had or maybe is the best is yet to come.  now i just need to focus on staying out of trouble, which i'm afraid i am already deeply rooting myself into.