. six .

austin, texas. 1662.26 miles from home.  25 hour and 35 minute drive. on a good day. that is rather far.  i've been avoiding life decisions as of late, and it's time to deal with at least two.  austin is number one.  i'm twenty two and yes i enunciate all of the t's therein, call me odd, but it is how i speak.  all of these years have been spent in new jersey, not such a bad thing as far as i am concerned.  i've wanted to leave, to get away from everything here and start a new life for quite sometime, but is this the opportunity i've been waiting for?  two years, at the end of it nearly 1/12 of my life, touring with a band based out of austin.  this is a huge commitment.  on the upside i'm sure that this would be a fine experience that i would share with one of my best friends, and i would be living in the current mecca of music on the continent.  this could be a great opportunity for my career.  but what is my career? i don't want to tour with bands my whole life. i want to teach. if i move i will be putting off my graduate study and my teaching certification, shirking the rigors of what most of us see as the grown up world for another fifth of a decade, maybe i've had my fun and it's time for me to grow up.  four months ago this discussion would be a non issue.  i was with the girl i loved and i would not leave her for texas, but now i'm at least partially alone and the decision does not weigh on any other person in my life, but solely on me.  this is a nice feeling, yet still tedious.  for the first time in a long time i'm making a major life decision without any stipulations, i truly feel that i can do what i want. i can move away on a whim, and throw caution to the wind.  my battle isn't with the decision to move but with my sense of responsibility to myself.  these past few months, i feel as though i need to grow up.  i guess maybe i'm not a little kid anymore, and that is something hard to face, it's really the only thing i've known my whole life.  maybe musicians never grow up.